


Promise me

by sugarandspace



Series: Post 3x10 fics (written before 3x11) [5]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Communication, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, M/M, Post-Episode: s03e10 Erchomai
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-30 16:24:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17227385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugarandspace/pseuds/sugarandspace
Summary: Magnus finds out that Alec has been doing research behind his back





	Promise me

**Author's Note:**

> "I'm not a fan of post 3x10 fics," she says, and posts yet another. To be fair, I tried to find something positive about the situation again, which basically means COMMUNICATION. And hugs.

It was dark by the time Magnus came back from his visit to Catarina’s. Cat had offered to create a portal for him but Magnus had politely refused, saying that a walk would do him good. And it had, his mind feeling much clearer after the walk in the crisp night air. Their evening had been filled with heavy conversation. As it turned out, Magnus wasn’t the only one who had hard time getting used to the reality that he was mortal now.

Unwilling to let those thoughts back in his head right now, Magnus took off his shoes and jacket. It was quiet in the loft, so Alexander must have already been asleep. Alec had spent every night at the loft since that night a couple weeks ago, and Magnus was grateful. He didn’t say it but he didn’t really feel like being by himself at the moment. But he didn’t have to, because his boyfriend seemed to understand. Or maybe he just didn’t want to stay away from Magnus. Both worked for Magnus, because it meant that he got to crawl into bed each night and fall asleep next to someone he loved. It gave a sense of normality in the aftermath of such a life changing event. 

However, as Magnus walked further into the loft he noticed that Alec hadn't exactly made it into bed that evening. His boyfriend was asleep on an armchair, a book on his lap and several piled onto the table next to him. The light next to the chair was on, giving the otherwise dark loft an orange glow.

Magnus walked closer, carefully taking the book from Alec’s lap. He was putting it into the pile when the cover caught his eye.

It was a book about a dimension of Hell, more precisely, it was a book about Edom. As Magnus looked closer, all the books in Alec’s pile were either about Edom, his father, or the demons that inhabited the realm. There was only one explanation for all this and it filled Magnus with ice-cold dread.

“Alexander,” he said quietly, lifting his hand to Alec’s cheek to coax him awake. He tried to ignore the way his hand shook lightly as he brushed his thumb over the skin under Alec’s eye.

Alec woke up slowly, blinking his eyes open and stretching his undoubtedly sore muscles. His eyes caught Magnus and he smiled, but the smile turned quickly into panic.

“Magnus,” he said, clearing his throat and sitting up straighter, the motion causing Magnus’ hand to fall. “I didn’t hear you come home.”  

“I just arrived,” Magnus said but he didn’t have a chance to continue before Alec spoke again.

“We should go to bed,” Alec said, his tone failing to sound casual as he stood up, deliberately standing between Magnus and the books. “It’s late.”

“We can go to bed,” Magnus agreed, his voice surprisingly steady despite the fear coursing in his veins. He reached behind Alec to take a book from the pile and to show it to him. “After you explain to me why you’re doing research about Edom.”

Alec grimaced, obviously caught.

“Magnus-”

“Explain to me,” Magnus demanded, his voice breaking at the end. “And I don’t want to hear lies.”

Defeated, Alec sighed and took one of Magnus’ hands to his, a pained expression on his face as he realised that Magnus was shaking.

“I’ve been doing research to figure out a way to get your magic back,” Alec admitted, his expression apologetic. “I didn't want to tell you because I didn’t want to give you false hope, if I ended up finding nothing.”

Magnus closed his eyes at the admission, drawing in a shaky breath. It was what he had been fearing, but a tiny part of him had hoped that the reason wasn’t linked to him, that it was just some new case Alec was working on at the Institute.

“You can’t do that,” he said, looking Alec in the eyes to show him how serious he was with his words.”It’s too dangerous.”

“You gave up so much to help us,” Alec said, the need to help Magnus, to fix the situation, so evident in his eyes. “You took that risk. Let me take a risk for you.”

“No,” Magnus said, his word surprisingly stern as he held Alec’s hands in both of his. “I refuse to put you in danger. My magic, it was important to me, I’m not denying that. And I haven’t quite figured out what I am without it, yet. But you Alexander, are infinitely more important to me. I can survive without my magic, but I can't survive without you.”

“But what if I find a way?” Alec asked. “A way with minimal risks. Are you telling me those risks aren’t worth taking?”

“That’s exactly what I’m telling you, Alexander.” Magnus said. “It’s my father we’re talking about, there isn’t going to be a solution with minimal risks. You need to promise me that you let this go. I don’t want to come home one evening to realise that you’re not here, to find out that you’re off to do something reckless to get my powers back. I don’t want to live with that fear.”

“Magnus-”

“I need you to promise me,” Magnus said, squeezing Alec’s hands for emphasis, his eyes never leaving Alec’s conflicted ones. 

“I can’t promise you that I’ll let this go completely,” Alec said eventually. “And I think you know it. But I can promise to you that I’m not going to do anything without talking to you first. You don’t need to worry about that.”

And Magnus did know. It wasn’t in Alexander’s nature to give up when it came to finishing a mission, or defending those he loved. And Magnus wasn’t sure if he could have even believed him if he promised to give up. He knew this was the best he was going to get, and he was going to accept it.

“Okay,” he said quietly, letting go of Alec’s hands to wrap his arms around Alec’s shoulders. “I just don’t want to lose you too.”

“You won’t,” Alec said, hugging back just as tightly. 

And when they eventually made it to bed and Magnus’ hold on Alec was just a bit tighter than it normally was, Alec didn’t mention it. All he needed to do was return the embrace and bury his nose into Magnus’ soft mop of hair. He wasn’t going anywhere, and he was going to make sure Magnus knew it.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm pretty sure I won't be posting anything tomorrow, so this will be my last fic of 2018. It's been a wild ride, I posted my first ever Shadowhunters fic in the beginning of April, and here I am now, posting my 59th Malec fic. A big thank you to all of you who've read my works and left kudos or comments. This is one of the most encouraging fandoms I've ever been a part of. It's thanks to you that I've enjoyed writing so much this year. Thank you, and I hope to see you in 2019! :)  
> -Jenna


End file.
